So a few times a week I workout with my in-law siblings at Tryon at 5:15 in the morning. At first it was suicide, but now I love it. It gets my work-out in, and me home in time, to still have coffee in bed with my husband before starting our days.
But this particular morning has left us baffled, depressed and worn out. I got half way to Tryon and realized I forgot my shoes. I turned around and raced back and was slapt with a $125.00 ticket. Heading back home, completely defeated and dreading telling my husband, all I could ask was "why God?"
So now, our $125.00 ticket is sitting on our counter, next to my husbands $200.00 ticket that hasn't been mailed yet. Needless to say, at this point, nearly half of what is in our Wells Fargo account will soon become a nice donation to the flipp'n state of South Dakota. Oh, and did I mention that I dropped my cell phone in a sink full of dish water yesterday?
Perspective.
There are people being skinned alive, tortured and hunted down for their faith. I guess we don't have it so bad. We did just receive a free T.V., my computer ended up getting fixed (for the most part), and our daughter gets to go to horse camp practically for free.... so as always, things will fall into place.
It's just hard, isn't it? The unexpected's. You try so hard to get ahead, and just when you think you're almost there, you get body slammed out of nowhere.
Jer and I know that God has a purpose for our lives that is much different than the norm. And it seems God's trahing, for whatever that purpose may be, includes NOT being allowed... EVER... to feel comfort (not even an ounce) financially. UGH!
Our hearts long to give more.... but we can't give what we do not have. I would think God WOULD want to bless us financially because we are soooooo hungry to pay forward in ways that people have payed to us. There are sooo many people in my life right now that I have wanted to bless financially, but over and over... and over, God says no. Bless them with something else.
One day we will look back and understand. Until then, we just keep enduring one step at a time. If you are reading this, could you maybe take a quick second to just pray for our spirits? For Jeremy and us to find joy, peace, and patience today? To find a determined drive and attitude of "you are sooo not going to win this, Satan!" For me to find these things so that I can be a good mom today, not a crabby irritable one?
Thank you. Your prayer will have power and will bless the people I come into contact with today. Who wants to be around a crank?!
Until next time... press on to win the race, right? (sigh).... At times like these I wish I were a smoker.
Just kidding. (kinda).
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Just Because You Love Me.
If you are seeking to give your entire heart, life and soul to the Lord... He WILL provide. He WILL be faithful. I just gotta share.
Normally Jeremy and I experience warfare before things like speaking engagements, retreats, conferences etc. But these past 2 weeks have been interesting and kinda funny. I think I shared earlier that Jeremy took a new job as a grain elevator superintendent in Brandon. He doesn't mind it. Not his heart, of course like sex trafficking is. It was a leap of faith for us. A job in which he had no experience which resulted in nearly a 50% paycut from when he was on his own doing construction.
With this being said, we have learned every trick in the book. We are the best at knowing how to say no and I have become a coupon/bargain freak. And let me tell ya... you think a family of 5 can't live off a single low income? If God calls you too... you can. And you will. And He provides every step of the way.
We have also learned how to listen to His voice and step out of the boat when we need to say yes to things like.... giving above tithes towards other ministries or taking steps toward registering Kasiah for an expensive summer horse clinic because of her love for horses (couldn't she have found a love for something less expensive?!). I'll get back to this cowgirl thing in a moment.
In 2 weeks we have gotten a $200.00 ticket (unknown expired liscense plates), a $125.00 unexpected tax bill, a TV that dies and a $700.00 laptop that was generously lavished with grape juice all over it's motherboard by a cute little toddler named Adalie. Diagnosis? Destroyed.
Now I have found that often when it rains it pours. We all know that. But when it pours with Satan's attacks, it's often before a spiritual event or something of that nature. In our case, we really have nothing special coming up (that we know of.) And typically, when Satan does strike our finances, it's weeks or months before we see the Lord pull through (and He always does). But in our case, the coolest thing happened.
In the same hour the TV died, there were three (yes 3) 36" TV's available to us.... for free.
In the same hour that our laptop was destroyed, there was a new dell available to us..... for free.
The next day. I check my voicemail and I have a message from Angela, the cowgirl camp owner. She had received our application with the deposit and my note saying, "I saw you had financial assistance. please call me!".
She announced on the message, "Your daughter is accepted and consider her tuition... Paid. In. Full."
FULL? Excuse me? All I said was "I want information on financial assistance please."
Yes God. Sometimes you provide before the requests even spill off our lips.
Yes God. Sometimes you provide for things that aren't even needs, like a TV.
Yes God. Often you provide in ways that are immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine.
Yes God, I have found that sometimes you provide... just because you love me.
So with this being said, we continue to press on in faith. Of course we still have the ticket and the taxes to pay and we have no idea week to week how we'll make ends meet. But I just smile saying, "Oh Satan. You might win some battles, but at the resurrection... you lost this war."
God provides. God provides. God provides. Are you getting your feet wet? Step out. Comfort is boring. :)
Normally Jeremy and I experience warfare before things like speaking engagements, retreats, conferences etc. But these past 2 weeks have been interesting and kinda funny. I think I shared earlier that Jeremy took a new job as a grain elevator superintendent in Brandon. He doesn't mind it. Not his heart, of course like sex trafficking is. It was a leap of faith for us. A job in which he had no experience which resulted in nearly a 50% paycut from when he was on his own doing construction.
With this being said, we have learned every trick in the book. We are the best at knowing how to say no and I have become a coupon/bargain freak. And let me tell ya... you think a family of 5 can't live off a single low income? If God calls you too... you can. And you will. And He provides every step of the way.
We have also learned how to listen to His voice and step out of the boat when we need to say yes to things like.... giving above tithes towards other ministries or taking steps toward registering Kasiah for an expensive summer horse clinic because of her love for horses (couldn't she have found a love for something less expensive?!). I'll get back to this cowgirl thing in a moment.
In 2 weeks we have gotten a $200.00 ticket (unknown expired liscense plates), a $125.00 unexpected tax bill, a TV that dies and a $700.00 laptop that was generously lavished with grape juice all over it's motherboard by a cute little toddler named Adalie. Diagnosis? Destroyed.
Now I have found that often when it rains it pours. We all know that. But when it pours with Satan's attacks, it's often before a spiritual event or something of that nature. In our case, we really have nothing special coming up (that we know of.) And typically, when Satan does strike our finances, it's weeks or months before we see the Lord pull through (and He always does). But in our case, the coolest thing happened.
In the same hour the TV died, there were three (yes 3) 36" TV's available to us.... for free.
In the same hour that our laptop was destroyed, there was a new dell available to us..... for free.
The next day. I check my voicemail and I have a message from Angela, the cowgirl camp owner. She had received our application with the deposit and my note saying, "I saw you had financial assistance. please call me!".
She announced on the message, "Your daughter is accepted and consider her tuition... Paid. In. Full."
FULL? Excuse me? All I said was "I want information on financial assistance please."
Yes God. Sometimes you provide before the requests even spill off our lips.
Yes God. Sometimes you provide for things that aren't even needs, like a TV.
Yes God. Often you provide in ways that are immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine.
Yes God, I have found that sometimes you provide... just because you love me.
So with this being said, we continue to press on in faith. Of course we still have the ticket and the taxes to pay and we have no idea week to week how we'll make ends meet. But I just smile saying, "Oh Satan. You might win some battles, but at the resurrection... you lost this war."
God provides. God provides. God provides. Are you getting your feet wet? Step out. Comfort is boring. :)
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