Don't Assume.

Disregard my blog header layout. It's screwed up and seemed to screw up on it's own. I don't even know what I did and can't fix it because....
#1. I'm really illiterate at this blog stuff.
#2. I don't care.

I'd rather spend time catching up on housework. Sigh. I need my friends Lori or Liza to rescue me... girls?! Anyway...

I just can't help but think that we've gotta stop and do a heart check. Really.
We say we are blessed living in America, and we teach our children to be grateful based on the starving children around the world, but are we? I'll explain in a moment. But first, yesterday Dyson walked up to me (20 minutes after lunch), while I was on the internet, and whined, "Mooom, I’m soooo HUNGRY!” (He was bored). So I showed him this:

"Are you still hungry?" I asked. He turned and walked away without saying a word.

This morning I woke up and read Chapter 5 of "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Incredible. It's my 2nd round at it, but seems to be speaking louder this time. Not sure why. Jeremy has also read Chan's 2nd book called "Forgotten God" which is on the Holy Spirit. I can't wait to read it.

As I read this specific chapter, I felt the author compliment what it seems God has been opening my eyes too in the past 6 months. And again, I grieved. And what is that?

God wasn't joking when He said, "The road to eternity is narrow."

Chan does not want true believers to doubt their salvation. In the midst of our failed attemps at loving Jesus, His grace covers us. Each of us have lukewarm elements in our life. But the distinction is if you are daily striving and surrendering to move closer to Christ.

Chan talked about how living in America as a Christian really might not be that great of a thing. He titled this chapter, "Serving Leftovers to a Holy God" and talked about how we can't just show up on Sunday and drop a few bucks in the plate and call ourselves Christian. He brought up Revelation 3:15-18, writing "there is no such thing as a lukewarm Christian. We will not see them in heaven."

His conclusion? Jesus' call to commitment is clear: He wants all or nothing.

Then he talked about the parable of the soils (Matthew 13). Chan wrote about for how years he wanted to know if the person representing the rocky soil is saved, even though he has no root. Chan then wondered about the thorny soil.

He wrote, "I doubt if people even considered these quetions back in Jesus' day! Is this idea of the non-fruit-bearing Christian something that we have concocted in order to make Christianity 'easier'? So we can follow our own course while still calling ourselves followers of Christ? So we can join the Marines, so to speak, without having to do all the work?"

He wrapped it up by writing, "Let's face it. We are willing to make changes in our lives only if it affects our salvation...to me these questions are tragic because they reveal much about the state of our hearts. They demonstrate that our concern is more about going to heaven then loving the King."

Jesus said, "If you love me, you will obey what I command." (John 14:15)

I couldn't keep this chapter to myself. Many of us have been raised in a church community in which giving your life to Christ was a very simple thing to do and required very little sacrifice or even knowledge of what it really meant. You know the list of “do not drink, smoke, swear, etc….”. But is living absent from the wild party lifestyle what makes you a good Christian? If you look at the only time Jesus talked about judgement day (Matt. 25:31-46), I'd have to say no.

Next to the saving grace of Jesus Christ, it's obedience. But not just obedience by fleeing tempation. It's just as much, if not more, obedience through sacrificing our wants, desires and comforts to carry out His calling for our lives, to reach the lost.

It's more about praying "Lord, if you want me to quit my job today, sell my house, leave my bad influental circle.... Lord, if you want me to relocate, give all my money away, confront this person..... Lord, if you want me to sell my car, go to a different country, tell the Wal-Mart guy about Jesus... Lord, if you want me to end this relationship, be single the rest of my life, get on a budget, stop shopping as therapy....I will.

And then you do. Now THAT is what it means to call youself a Christian.

Jeremy and I recently celebrated our 8 year anniversary. And I am proud to say, this has been the best year of our marriage. It started off looking something like this:

God called me to marry Jeremy. A radical move. Jeremy ran away. From God. From me. But today....

We are happier and healthier than we have ever been (you can see that written all over Dyson.) How did we make it? That daily prayer I just wrote about, I prayed it, even when I didn't mean it. My heart wanted to mean it. So I still prayed it, and God transformed my heart over time.

Marriage. It's an earthly example of what our marriage is to be with God. Through the thick and and thin, regardless of what God asks us to do, we will be faithful and say, "I do."

Jesus said the road is narrow and few will actually find it... and fewer still among those who are rich (that includes us, people). I had to stop and do a heart check. Do you? Like the parable of the sower, don't assume you are the good soil. That might hurt to read, but wounds from a friend can be trusted (Prov. 27:6)

And We Ask Why...

I have such a passion for teaching married woman to be the women that God has called them to be. I'm not sure why, but I do. But the thing is this: I believe that every married woman has the same calling: To be their husbands helper.

Genesis 2.

It says that for Adam, there was no suitable helper found... so God created woman. Let me write that again... it says "helper". It does not say there was no suitable "sex object" found, or "leader" found, or "queen in whom Adam must spend his entire life serving to be who SHE wants to be and do what SHE wants to do" found.

The purpose of a married woman is to be her husbands helper. To spend her life helping him to become all that God has created him to be. And in turn, he will then help his wife and children to become all that God has created them to be!

I am not saying that a woman is of devalue. There are countless events of scripture in which Jesus clearly values women. In fact, the first person in which Jesus revealed Himself to be... was to a woman. (John 4). The woman at the well ran off and witnessed, and therefore could be considered the first missionary!

So what has happened to our nation? Honestly, I believe "Womens Rights" happened. Too much of a good thing became a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to women in leadership who God has called to lead! But I'm talking about marriage, not politics.

We ask ourselves why America is going to crap? I think it's because we've lost spiritual leadership among our men. Is it their fault? Maybe. Mostly? Probably not. I think much of it is our fault. Think about it.

Genesis 3 speaks of the curse. God curses Adam through having to work to make ends meet.
And Eve? God cursed her through pain in chilbirth (we all know that)... but also stating "your desire will be for your husband, but he will rule over you."

What does that mean? I am not claiming to know all the answers. But something here has intrigued me. Please study for yourself and don't take what I'm saying as absolute. But I have found that one translation states "your desire will be to 'control' your husband....." Some commentaries state that it refers to Eve having to surrender her determination of her will.

Are you seeing this?! It is human nature for us wives to want to rule our husbands! I truly believe it's part of the curse. Yet, "Jesus loving" wives manipulate (even unknowingly doing so) their husbands daily into doing things, attending things, and putting up with things all to keep peace in the marriage Why? Because he loves her and will do anything for her. But does she in return?

The poor guy is scared of us. Intimidated of us. And has learned to keep his mouth shut and say the famous words "I don't care." When deep inside he really does, but he doesn't dare share or the guilt will rear it's ugly head.

I believe there are men out there who could be, or could have become, dynamite for the Kingdom of God, but instead were unknowingly and unitentionally boxed in by Satan when life had become about the wife, the kids, etc. And maybe everything turned out good... but could have it been great?

Wives, when you tell your kids (your job, friends, money, etc.) yes, are you saying no (to your husband)? If he were to die today, will you live in guilt thinking about the times you continued to put your wants, desires, dreams and children above the very man that God called you to uphold as first priority?

Why am I writing this? Because when looking at Jeremy today vs. where he was when I met him 12 years ago I just can't hold it in! From Day #1 the Lord ingrained in me that no matter what, my job was to help Jeremy become all God wanted Him to be. I did not get it right at all times, but it was my hearts goal every time. And now I am watching it unfold right before my very eyes!

You all know, we have endured sex addiction, drugs, alcohol, affairs, miscarriages, job and house insecurities, financial pressures, and the list goes on. In all of that my wants, desires and dreams felt as if they were being flushed down the toilet into the ocean never to be found again.

Yet I closed my eyes and went back to the day I heard the Lord first say, "One day, Danielle, Jeremy will wreck the world for Christ."

And 12 years later through all that shit (for lack of a better word, really)... the Lord's promise whispered from heaven is now being carried out through the heart, hands and feet of my man. And I smile.

Because I know that over the years, as I surrendered my wants, dreams and desires to focus on my man, my hearts desires, well... changed. They are no longer what they were. Instead, they are God's desires. And they are perfectly fit into my husbands desires as well. Just like it's supposed to be.

What are you doing to uphold your man? Does he know through your actions (not your words) that he comes first in your life?

Our nation is falling apart. Yet, we ask why. I really believe if we want things to change, it must begin in our homes with us wives. How? Self-less sacrifice for the man for once, not always the kids.