Since I last wrote we have moved to Brandon, SD. The first week was a huge shock, having gone from a 5 bedroom home on an acreage to a 3 bedroom apartment with people living above us and on each side. But after a week of overwhelming busyness with new activities (involving more people than deer), and after ditching all of our furniture but the couch (kids needed more room!)... we are officially settled and loving the change.
What I love most is the friends we have made. Rich and real. I also love the drive to wherever we go, which is now 5 minutes instead of 45. I love to no longer have to pack peanut butter sandwhiches and pajamas for the road. I love that I can put a meal in the oven and know I'll be back in time to eat it.
I love being involved in Mops, the church and Kasiah's new preschool. I love going to the library every week. I love my sisters who are close by, knowing we've got each other's back when needed. I love bringing my kids to Awana every Wednesday, knowing they'll be able to give their cousins a hug. I love being able to take simple cheap dates because DQ is only 5 minutes away. I love that Grandma and Aunt Lisha give my kids free tumblebus classes every week. I love being in Brandon. I love joining my brother and sister-in-laws at the gym at 5:15 in the morning to get our butts kicked with a good workout.
What I hate most is the hard water. I hate washing my hair, feeling more dirty when I get out than when I got in. I hate watching all my dishes be destroyed and having to filter water before filling the coffee pot. But more than that, I hate watching my husband go to work every day, hating what he does, but not wanting it to end. I hate not knowing how God will provide for us when this job is done, knowing we have more bills here than when we left.
But what I hate the most is that for the first time reality is settling in. The reality of eternity. I hate that God is placing my husband and I in places where we are being forced to see a deeper truth than what we have ever grown up with...than what our churches have ever taught us. I hate that now that we know, we are held accoutable to share the truth of hell even if it means we could get punched in the face.
I hate the truth that denominations are dividing the church... when in fact every denomination has a truth to offer for the good of the church (the entire body of Christ). I'm not talking the truth of Jesus Christ - salvation himself. I'm talking outside of that.
I grew up Evangelical Free. Was educated by a Reformed college. Spent 5 years at a Weselyn church and now we are involved in an Assemblies of God church. And with each church, something different is emphasised.
Through my experience.....
The Evangelical Free emphasize Evangelism.
The Reformed emphasizes a deep reverance for the Lord through rich tradition.
Celebrate (I don't want to tie it to a denomination because really they are their own) emphasizes loving people.
The Assembly of God emphasizes the Holy Spirit.
I have learned (currently living and dining among) that every believer can have a 2nd baptism of the Holy Spirit and receive tongues as a personal prayer language. Yes, it's backed biblically and I'm witnessing it myself. But many churches don't address it or read it for what it is, so many Christians are missing out on such an intimate love prayer language with the Lord. It's amazing... and it's sad.
But what I hate the most of everything is what I have learned today through "Driven by Eternity" by John Bevere...
Many "Christians" are not going to heaven. In America I would even dare to say most. You can not just pray the prayer and try to live a good life. If the Lord is TRULY your Lord, you will submit your life 100% under His authority. If He tells you to quit your job, and it doesn't make sense, you will do it. If He tells you to sell your house and it leaves you homeless you will do it. If He tells you to give all of your money away, you will do it. This is TRUE belief that Jesus is Lord.... when you put your belief into action. (If you're looking for scriptural support please respond. I have it, it's just not memorized and with me right now. )
Anyway, today my heart feels sick and sad. There are people in my life who are dear to my heart. I always considered them save. But today I'm not so sure. The truth is, until you understand the reality of hell you can not fully appreciate grace. In the bible Jesus talks more about hell than heaven. He also says in Hebrews 6 that the understanding of Heaven and Hell is an elementary teaching. Elementary? Then why is it that what I have learned today is so new to me after being a Christian since I was 8 years old?
I would go into the horror of what I learned about hell, but don't have the emotional energy right now. All I know is that I have a deeper appreciation for His grace... and I have been compelled and driven with a deep heartache to warn people in my life - especially those who think they are headed to heaven.
What about you? Have you completely surrendered your life to Him? If He told you to do something insanely out of this world, would you do it? Do you have a deep heartache for those who aren't saved?
If you answered no I strongly suggest... no I beg you... to re-evaluate where you truly stand with our Lord.
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