Breathe It In.

(Disclaimer: If coming here as a result of my Christmas card, please read my previous blog.)

This Christmas I am thinking about the family who's 15 year old daughter was shot a mile away from a neighbor who was cleaning his gun. I'm thinking about the toddler who disappeared in the night from her bedroom. About my friend who's teenage son committed suicide a year ago. About the parents who's 10 day old baby died last week.

This Christmas I'm thinking about the wife who just found out her husband has been cheating on her. I'm thinking about the man who walked through the door to share with his family that he lost his job. About the 3 sisters who have been repeatedly raped by their father, in every position you could image, threating to murder their mom if they said a word. Ages 5, 10 and 13. About the single who longs to be married and only feels more lonely this time of the year. About my cousin who thought he'd be spending this Christmas with his family for the first time in 8 years, but is unfairly spending it in prison.

I'm thinking about my husband who is sick of this bondage, tired of this addiction, wondering why God won't deliver him....and is on week #2 of time #5 of trying to quit smoking again. I'm thinking about my sister who's heart is breaking over her broken family. This Christmas I'm thinking about that girl who was trafficked, drugged and is being repeatedly raped right here in Sioux Falls. Yes, here where no one thinks it happens.

I'm thinking about the thousands of other children being trafficked right here in our country, all around us, every day... and yet we fail to see it. About that alcoholic wife or husband. That car accident that killed your child. That bank account that screams failure.  I'm thinking about your exhaustion in parenting, your sucky job, your hurting marriage, your rebellious child. Your feelings of inadaquacy, failure and self-hate. Your addiction.

This Christmas I'm thinking about Christ. And one phrase comes to my mind: THANK GOD! Thank God someone came to rescue us from this **itty life. Excuse my language, but there is just no other word to describe the hell that goes on every single day. Thank GOD He came. Thank GOD he died. Thank GOD he rose again.... and thank GOD if we believe it we will one day escape it. Forever. But you have to believe it.

I was driving to Gordmans to do some last minute shopping. Jeremy had come home from work. Completely depressed. Completely defeated. I was so frustrated. It had to do with 2 things:
1. Work.
2. Me.

I drove into town, tears streaming down my face. I understood why he felt that way, but I couldn't fix it. So I took in a breath and breathed in Christmas. A feeling of peace and relief came over me and I simply said, "Thank you God for Jesus. For being my life savor from this screwed up life."

Then Santa came to my mind and his notorious lifesaver books. I smiled. One for each of my kids (minus my missing teeth toddler) was sitting in my red Target bag in my closet. Suddenly they took on an entirely different meaning.

Santa is coming to our house tonight. A night early because we're driving to Grandma's (I hope they don't ask questions).... And tomorrow I can't wait to tell them that Christmas isn't about Jesus Birthday after all.....
It's about Easter.

Merry Christmas!

(This blog is not to be intended that I'm all depressed and broken..... I got a phone call from somone all worried about me. :) It's just a random "ah ha" moment I thought I should share!)