Quiet is Wisdom.

I've been feeling led to post about this topic for a few weeks now. Let's talk about what happens when we scream at our kids. 

In our household we're pretty patient for the most part. But you will see it happen a lot quicker in me than my husband! And every single time I find myself feeling terrible and begging for their forgiveness. I then pray that they will forever forget that image. But it is so hard sometimes!

Our temperature is rising. Finances suck. We aren't on good terms with our spouse. Things have been going wrong all day and continue to snowball. We've asked our kids to get dressed, brush their teeth or pick up their toys a thousand times. Yet they don't listen. We patiently ask again, while boiling inside. Still, nothing. Finally we snap and "Monster Mommy" or "Demon Daddy" rears it's ugly head, gnashes it's teeth, jumps out of it's chair...... and looks something like this:

And if we capture the not so Kodak moment, we will see an image pierce our hearts of one very terrified little girl.

Or maybe, unfortunately not. Maybe she's a teenager now and has been used to it her whole life. So now, it doesn't even phase her. It just affirms in her that she really has no reason to look up to you. But there is always hope, and I'll get to what we can do in a minute.

Yelling. We hate doing it, but the results are so darn immediate! We see action and it seems to be the only thing that gets their attention. But in the end, we both lose. They lose a feeling of self-worth. We lose their respect.

And the truth is, if they didn't listen the first time we asked. It's probably because they knew they really didn't have to. It's our fault. Not theirs.

When we freak out on our kids, ten years down the road, they may never remember what they did wrong....but they will remember that livid look on your face and that feeling of terror and disguest toward you and that feeling of worthlessness.

Maybe yelling gets results. But do you really want them to obey because they are scared s***less?! Or do you want them to obey because it's the right thing to do and because they love you?

So what do we do? Parent from your feet. Not your seat. Start being consistent. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Expect them to listen the first time you ask. If they don't, don't freak out like an insane stupid person. Just simply and calmly take away their Leapster Explorer and brace yourself to endure the explosion on their end when they find out. :)

I strongly recommend this book. I've read it before and applied it for awhile but I need to read it and apply it again. Not only is it super easy reading and flipping hilarious, it really does work.  But here is the fine print: If you want your child to change... the hardest part about this book will be changing you.

Sin happens when we run our mouth. But if we are quiet, we are wise. 

Proverbs 10:19.