Being exhausted is nothing new to anyone. Many of us feel stressed out, tired and ready to quit in our own ways. Quit our jobs, quit our commitments, quit a relationship, quit trying, quit marriage, quit parenting, quit everything. I'll never forget years back in a bible study with my good Sioux Center girlfriends. One of them named Jill said she had a moment when she looked up in the sky and saw an airplane and just wished so much she was on it....flying far far away. I never forgot that moment because I could relate to it so much.
We are tired...and Satan might be smiling. Does he have us exactly where he wants? Our guard is down, our vision blurred, our strength to fight... nonexistent. We get to the point where we no longer care and suddenly out of nowhere the lion who invisibly preys around pounces.
And we never saw him coming.
And we never saw him coming.
Shortly before harvest started I looked at my husband. He was tired. So so tired. Any harvest family knows that going into harvest already tired is just a recipe for disaster. But please rewind with me several months back:
Jer had visited Be Free in Sioux Falls (www.befree58.org), a ministry that reaches out to women who have been victims in our area. He was ready to join them. Like immediately. The anger we feel over this injustice is tremendous (I'll touch more on this in a bit). However, as we were talking we knew God wasn't calling us there yet. He was calling us where we already were (and are) which is at our current church investing in men and women. Jer responded, "But I just want to make a difference now!"
I looked at him and said, "You already are. You're after the men".
Years back, I was a children's director at our old church. During this time I had attended a conference in which I was told that children should be the #1 priority of every church. Today I'm not so sure if they should be the main focus.
I certainly can't speak for God's calling in every church, but I know according to Genesis 2 it certainly seems like Adam was called to be the "big rock". The protector, provider, leader. It says Eve was created to help Adam. Not lead, control, or manipulate him. This hit me hard. If creation started with a man, wouldn't focusing on the man to get his heart right and his priorities straight help put everything else into place? Marriages, parenting, and so on?
Doesn't it seem that when you have a broken man, you have a broken marriage and a broken dad? And a broken dad will lead to a broken little girl or boy? Are these broken children not growing up as teenagers looking for love in all the wrong places?
Traffickers aren't interested in confident and secure girls. They want the girls who are vulnerable. The ones they can groom and manipulate. And most of the time those girls come from homes of men whom you could actually call male... but not necessarily men.
We might see trafficking to be a kidnapping where some girl gets swept off the streets unexpectedly. Sometimes, but not really. It simply starts with broken relationships. It's everywhere, not just in Vegas. Its right here in the Sioux Falls, SD. A city in the middle of a cornfield. Specifically the Empire Mall....
A guy saw a broken teenage girl sitting alone in the cafeteria, crying because of something that happened with her friends. He offered a listening ear, protection, kind words, etc. He became her boyfriend. And the next thing she knows she is getting gang raped in an apartment and then put on Phillips street to prostitute. Yes, true story.
It even happened to a relation of ours this year. It started in a local town. The next thing she knew she was hours away from being trafficked over the Mexican border. Thank goodness we had connections to help get her in a safe house. However, for most of these girls they aren't so lucky.
So anyway (that was my trafficking tangent), Jeremy's holy discontent for this injustice has sparked a fire and passion in his heart to rise up men of Resolution in our church and community. Jer and his team casted this vision and riled things up on Fathers Day weekend. God really showed up and did some amazing things. And my guess is that Satan was not too impressed because we weren't even home for an hour before the attacks began.... and they didn't stop coming.
In addition to "life" (which we all struggle with "life" in our own way), we chose to put ourselves in the situation of taking advantage of financial opportunities such as side jobs like roofing, decking and more roofing and roofing... and roofing.
So now back to harvest where we've got ourselves not only a spiritually and emotionally tired man, but a physically tired one too. Bad bad bad. A time when you would normally want to be at your best, Jer was at his worst. He was wounded and beaten down. And when this happens everyone is his sphere of influence is affected. Suddenly circumstances we could once handle well... are not being held well anymore.
I watched and waited prayerfully for a holy wisdom of intercession on behalf of my man. There is so much wisdom in timing and tone. He was tired. He wasn't thinking clearly, seeing clearly, speaking clearly or acting clearly.
Jer had visited Be Free in Sioux Falls (www.befree58.org), a ministry that reaches out to women who have been victims in our area. He was ready to join them. Like immediately. The anger we feel over this injustice is tremendous (I'll touch more on this in a bit). However, as we were talking we knew God wasn't calling us there yet. He was calling us where we already were (and are) which is at our current church investing in men and women. Jer responded, "But I just want to make a difference now!"
I looked at him and said, "You already are. You're after the men".
Years back, I was a children's director at our old church. During this time I had attended a conference in which I was told that children should be the #1 priority of every church. Today I'm not so sure if they should be the main focus.
I certainly can't speak for God's calling in every church, but I know according to Genesis 2 it certainly seems like Adam was called to be the "big rock". The protector, provider, leader. It says Eve was created to help Adam. Not lead, control, or manipulate him. This hit me hard. If creation started with a man, wouldn't focusing on the man to get his heart right and his priorities straight help put everything else into place? Marriages, parenting, and so on?
Doesn't it seem that when you have a broken man, you have a broken marriage and a broken dad? And a broken dad will lead to a broken little girl or boy? Are these broken children not growing up as teenagers looking for love in all the wrong places?
Traffickers aren't interested in confident and secure girls. They want the girls who are vulnerable. The ones they can groom and manipulate. And most of the time those girls come from homes of men whom you could actually call male... but not necessarily men.
We might see trafficking to be a kidnapping where some girl gets swept off the streets unexpectedly. Sometimes, but not really. It simply starts with broken relationships. It's everywhere, not just in Vegas. Its right here in the Sioux Falls, SD. A city in the middle of a cornfield. Specifically the Empire Mall....
A guy saw a broken teenage girl sitting alone in the cafeteria, crying because of something that happened with her friends. He offered a listening ear, protection, kind words, etc. He became her boyfriend. And the next thing she knows she is getting gang raped in an apartment and then put on Phillips street to prostitute. Yes, true story.
It even happened to a relation of ours this year. It started in a local town. The next thing she knew she was hours away from being trafficked over the Mexican border. Thank goodness we had connections to help get her in a safe house. However, for most of these girls they aren't so lucky.
So anyway (that was my trafficking tangent), Jeremy's holy discontent for this injustice has sparked a fire and passion in his heart to rise up men of Resolution in our church and community. Jer and his team casted this vision and riled things up on Fathers Day weekend. God really showed up and did some amazing things. And my guess is that Satan was not too impressed because we weren't even home for an hour before the attacks began.... and they didn't stop coming.
In addition to "life" (which we all struggle with "life" in our own way), we chose to put ourselves in the situation of taking advantage of financial opportunities such as side jobs like roofing, decking and more roofing and roofing... and roofing.
So now back to harvest where we've got ourselves not only a spiritually and emotionally tired man, but a physically tired one too. Bad bad bad. A time when you would normally want to be at your best, Jer was at his worst. He was wounded and beaten down. And when this happens everyone is his sphere of influence is affected. Suddenly circumstances we could once handle well... are not being held well anymore.
I watched and waited prayerfully for a holy wisdom of intercession on behalf of my man. There is so much wisdom in timing and tone. He was tired. He wasn't thinking clearly, seeing clearly, speaking clearly or acting clearly.
Then the night came when he vented everything to me and my heart dropped to the ground. That was it. He was too tired to fight this one; and if he lost I lost...and our kids would lose too. No way. Not this time. When the kids are involved, you better watch out because this mamma bear growls.
So I made that phone call to a fellow warrior. A "brother" of Jeremy's. That warrior called the other warriors and within a week there were several men of honor rallying around him, laying hands on him and interceding for him on his behalf.
Thank God for good guy friends. And these friends, I have prayed for Jeremy to find for 11 years. Ladies, don't...give..up.
The men reminded me of the story of Moses facing a battle before him in Exodus 17:12. God told him he would only claim victory if he was able to physically hold his arms high in the air until the battle was won. Well, as you can imagine, Moses' arms started to shake. Just when he wasn't going to make it his good guy friends Aaron and Hur stepped in to hold those arms up high. Thank God for the Aaron's and Hur's in my husband's life. We can't do life alone. We may think we can.
We can't.
Jeremy came home revived that night and it was contagious. However, we learned fast that in some seasons of life, several doses of revival are needed. That is where Jer and I have been. That is where we are today.
Pastor shared with me the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19. The guy is so worn out he tells God to just let him die. What did God do?
He fed him.
He put him to sleep.
He woke him.
He fed him.
He put him to sleep.
He woke him again and said, "O.k. Now let's talk." Elijah then went back to battle, physically renewed in strength and ready to think, talk and walk clearly.
Thank God for good guy friends. And these friends, I have prayed for Jeremy to find for 11 years. Ladies, don't...give..up.
The men reminded me of the story of Moses facing a battle before him in Exodus 17:12. God told him he would only claim victory if he was able to physically hold his arms high in the air until the battle was won. Well, as you can imagine, Moses' arms started to shake. Just when he wasn't going to make it his good guy friends Aaron and Hur stepped in to hold those arms up high. Thank God for the Aaron's and Hur's in my husband's life. We can't do life alone. We may think we can.
We can't.
Jeremy came home revived that night and it was contagious. However, we learned fast that in some seasons of life, several doses of revival are needed. That is where Jer and I have been. That is where we are today.
Pastor shared with me the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19. The guy is so worn out he tells God to just let him die. What did God do?
He fed him.
He put him to sleep.
He woke him.
He fed him.
He put him to sleep.
He woke him again and said, "O.k. Now let's talk." Elijah then went back to battle, physically renewed in strength and ready to think, talk and walk clearly.
So, with that being said, we are coming out of a season of brokenness from simply being too tired. If you have been following my blogs you know I value brokenness. But this time it was much different than my other seasons. This time I had older kids. Kids in which I had to be game face by day and a sobbing mess by night.
If I was going to pull off this homeschool thing without being labeled Mrs. Witch, then I decided to sacrifice my early morning workouts and increase my God time. So 5:00 am it was. But instead to the gym it was straight to the couch with increased time of coffee, bible and a journal in my hand.
Like Elijah, I'm feeling the restoration more and more each day. Although now I'm in a workout slump I have to get out of. Ick.
However, I literally JUST received a text from my good friend Stella. It said: I'm looking for a workout partner. Are you going to start doing that again or are you done working out?
Ummmm... ?! I guess God's telling me to get back in the game.
Oh boy. Insanity here we come. I have not missed you. Not one bit. But here we go.
Crap.
If I was going to pull off this homeschool thing without being labeled Mrs. Witch, then I decided to sacrifice my early morning workouts and increase my God time. So 5:00 am it was. But instead to the gym it was straight to the couch with increased time of coffee, bible and a journal in my hand.
Like Elijah, I'm feeling the restoration more and more each day. Although now I'm in a workout slump I have to get out of. Ick.
However, I literally JUST received a text from my good friend Stella. It said: I'm looking for a workout partner. Are you going to start doing that again or are you done working out?
Ummmm... ?! I guess God's telling me to get back in the game.
Oh boy. Insanity here we come. I have not missed you. Not one bit. But here we go.
Crap.
Love you. Lots.
ReplyDeleteHi Danielle! You came to mind as I've been praying about homeschooling. Wondering what curriculum you use. Does it cost a lot? There's so many options out there... kinda overwhelming. Are you glad you went the route you did? God bless your familiy!
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