Don't Assume.

Disregard my blog header layout. It's screwed up and seemed to screw up on it's own. I don't even know what I did and can't fix it because....
#1. I'm really illiterate at this blog stuff.
#2. I don't care.

I'd rather spend time catching up on housework. Sigh. I need my friends Lori or Liza to rescue me... girls?! Anyway...

I just can't help but think that we've gotta stop and do a heart check. Really.
We say we are blessed living in America, and we teach our children to be grateful based on the starving children around the world, but are we? I'll explain in a moment. But first, yesterday Dyson walked up to me (20 minutes after lunch), while I was on the internet, and whined, "Mooom, I’m soooo HUNGRY!” (He was bored). So I showed him this:

"Are you still hungry?" I asked. He turned and walked away without saying a word.

This morning I woke up and read Chapter 5 of "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Incredible. It's my 2nd round at it, but seems to be speaking louder this time. Not sure why. Jeremy has also read Chan's 2nd book called "Forgotten God" which is on the Holy Spirit. I can't wait to read it.

As I read this specific chapter, I felt the author compliment what it seems God has been opening my eyes too in the past 6 months. And again, I grieved. And what is that?

God wasn't joking when He said, "The road to eternity is narrow."

Chan does not want true believers to doubt their salvation. In the midst of our failed attemps at loving Jesus, His grace covers us. Each of us have lukewarm elements in our life. But the distinction is if you are daily striving and surrendering to move closer to Christ.

Chan talked about how living in America as a Christian really might not be that great of a thing. He titled this chapter, "Serving Leftovers to a Holy God" and talked about how we can't just show up on Sunday and drop a few bucks in the plate and call ourselves Christian. He brought up Revelation 3:15-18, writing "there is no such thing as a lukewarm Christian. We will not see them in heaven."

His conclusion? Jesus' call to commitment is clear: He wants all or nothing.

Then he talked about the parable of the soils (Matthew 13). Chan wrote about for how years he wanted to know if the person representing the rocky soil is saved, even though he has no root. Chan then wondered about the thorny soil.

He wrote, "I doubt if people even considered these quetions back in Jesus' day! Is this idea of the non-fruit-bearing Christian something that we have concocted in order to make Christianity 'easier'? So we can follow our own course while still calling ourselves followers of Christ? So we can join the Marines, so to speak, without having to do all the work?"

He wrapped it up by writing, "Let's face it. We are willing to make changes in our lives only if it affects our salvation...to me these questions are tragic because they reveal much about the state of our hearts. They demonstrate that our concern is more about going to heaven then loving the King."

Jesus said, "If you love me, you will obey what I command." (John 14:15)

I couldn't keep this chapter to myself. Many of us have been raised in a church community in which giving your life to Christ was a very simple thing to do and required very little sacrifice or even knowledge of what it really meant. You know the list of “do not drink, smoke, swear, etc….”. But is living absent from the wild party lifestyle what makes you a good Christian? If you look at the only time Jesus talked about judgement day (Matt. 25:31-46), I'd have to say no.

Next to the saving grace of Jesus Christ, it's obedience. But not just obedience by fleeing tempation. It's just as much, if not more, obedience through sacrificing our wants, desires and comforts to carry out His calling for our lives, to reach the lost.

It's more about praying "Lord, if you want me to quit my job today, sell my house, leave my bad influental circle.... Lord, if you want me to relocate, give all my money away, confront this person..... Lord, if you want me to sell my car, go to a different country, tell the Wal-Mart guy about Jesus... Lord, if you want me to end this relationship, be single the rest of my life, get on a budget, stop shopping as therapy....I will.

And then you do. Now THAT is what it means to call youself a Christian.

Jeremy and I recently celebrated our 8 year anniversary. And I am proud to say, this has been the best year of our marriage. It started off looking something like this:

God called me to marry Jeremy. A radical move. Jeremy ran away. From God. From me. But today....

We are happier and healthier than we have ever been (you can see that written all over Dyson.) How did we make it? That daily prayer I just wrote about, I prayed it, even when I didn't mean it. My heart wanted to mean it. So I still prayed it, and God transformed my heart over time.

Marriage. It's an earthly example of what our marriage is to be with God. Through the thick and and thin, regardless of what God asks us to do, we will be faithful and say, "I do."

Jesus said the road is narrow and few will actually find it... and fewer still among those who are rich (that includes us, people). I had to stop and do a heart check. Do you? Like the parable of the sower, don't assume you are the good soil. That might hurt to read, but wounds from a friend can be trusted (Prov. 27:6)

And We Ask Why...

I have such a passion for teaching married woman to be the women that God has called them to be. I'm not sure why, but I do. But the thing is this: I believe that every married woman has the same calling: To be their husbands helper.

Genesis 2.

It says that for Adam, there was no suitable helper found... so God created woman. Let me write that again... it says "helper". It does not say there was no suitable "sex object" found, or "leader" found, or "queen in whom Adam must spend his entire life serving to be who SHE wants to be and do what SHE wants to do" found.

The purpose of a married woman is to be her husbands helper. To spend her life helping him to become all that God has created him to be. And in turn, he will then help his wife and children to become all that God has created them to be!

I am not saying that a woman is of devalue. There are countless events of scripture in which Jesus clearly values women. In fact, the first person in which Jesus revealed Himself to be... was to a woman. (John 4). The woman at the well ran off and witnessed, and therefore could be considered the first missionary!

So what has happened to our nation? Honestly, I believe "Womens Rights" happened. Too much of a good thing became a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to women in leadership who God has called to lead! But I'm talking about marriage, not politics.

We ask ourselves why America is going to crap? I think it's because we've lost spiritual leadership among our men. Is it their fault? Maybe. Mostly? Probably not. I think much of it is our fault. Think about it.

Genesis 3 speaks of the curse. God curses Adam through having to work to make ends meet.
And Eve? God cursed her through pain in chilbirth (we all know that)... but also stating "your desire will be for your husband, but he will rule over you."

What does that mean? I am not claiming to know all the answers. But something here has intrigued me. Please study for yourself and don't take what I'm saying as absolute. But I have found that one translation states "your desire will be to 'control' your husband....." Some commentaries state that it refers to Eve having to surrender her determination of her will.

Are you seeing this?! It is human nature for us wives to want to rule our husbands! I truly believe it's part of the curse. Yet, "Jesus loving" wives manipulate (even unknowingly doing so) their husbands daily into doing things, attending things, and putting up with things all to keep peace in the marriage Why? Because he loves her and will do anything for her. But does she in return?

The poor guy is scared of us. Intimidated of us. And has learned to keep his mouth shut and say the famous words "I don't care." When deep inside he really does, but he doesn't dare share or the guilt will rear it's ugly head.

I believe there are men out there who could be, or could have become, dynamite for the Kingdom of God, but instead were unknowingly and unitentionally boxed in by Satan when life had become about the wife, the kids, etc. And maybe everything turned out good... but could have it been great?

Wives, when you tell your kids (your job, friends, money, etc.) yes, are you saying no (to your husband)? If he were to die today, will you live in guilt thinking about the times you continued to put your wants, desires, dreams and children above the very man that God called you to uphold as first priority?

Why am I writing this? Because when looking at Jeremy today vs. where he was when I met him 12 years ago I just can't hold it in! From Day #1 the Lord ingrained in me that no matter what, my job was to help Jeremy become all God wanted Him to be. I did not get it right at all times, but it was my hearts goal every time. And now I am watching it unfold right before my very eyes!

You all know, we have endured sex addiction, drugs, alcohol, affairs, miscarriages, job and house insecurities, financial pressures, and the list goes on. In all of that my wants, desires and dreams felt as if they were being flushed down the toilet into the ocean never to be found again.

Yet I closed my eyes and went back to the day I heard the Lord first say, "One day, Danielle, Jeremy will wreck the world for Christ."

And 12 years later through all that shit (for lack of a better word, really)... the Lord's promise whispered from heaven is now being carried out through the heart, hands and feet of my man. And I smile.

Because I know that over the years, as I surrendered my wants, dreams and desires to focus on my man, my hearts desires, well... changed. They are no longer what they were. Instead, they are God's desires. And they are perfectly fit into my husbands desires as well. Just like it's supposed to be.

What are you doing to uphold your man? Does he know through your actions (not your words) that he comes first in your life?

Our nation is falling apart. Yet, we ask why. I really believe if we want things to change, it must begin in our homes with us wives. How? Self-less sacrifice for the man for once, not always the kids.

(Sigh.)

So a few times a week I workout with my in-law siblings at Tryon at 5:15 in the morning. At first it was suicide, but now I love it. It gets my work-out in, and me home in time, to still have coffee in bed with my husband before starting our days.

But this particular morning has left us baffled, depressed and worn out. I got half way to Tryon and realized I forgot my shoes. I turned around and raced back and was slapt with a $125.00 ticket. Heading back home, completely defeated and dreading telling my husband, all I could ask was "why God?"

So now, our $125.00 ticket is sitting on our counter, next to my husbands $200.00 ticket that hasn't been mailed yet. Needless to say, at this point, nearly half of what is in our Wells Fargo account will soon become a nice donation to the flipp'n state of South Dakota. Oh, and did I mention that I dropped my cell phone in a sink full of dish water yesterday?

Perspective.

There are people being skinned alive, tortured and hunted down for their faith. I guess we don't have it so bad. We did just receive a free T.V., my computer ended up getting fixed (for the most part), and our daughter gets to go to horse camp practically for free.... so as always, things will fall into place.

It's just hard, isn't it? The unexpected's. You try so hard to get ahead, and just when you think you're almost there, you get body slammed out of nowhere.

Jer and I know that God has a purpose for our lives that is much different than the norm. And it seems God's trahing, for whatever that purpose may be, includes NOT being allowed... EVER... to feel comfort (not even an ounce) financially. UGH!

Our hearts long to give more.... but we can't give what we do not have. I would think God WOULD want to bless us financially because we are soooooo hungry to pay forward in ways that people have payed to us. There are sooo many people in my life right now that I have wanted to bless financially, but over and over... and over, God says no. Bless them with something else.

One day we will look back and understand. Until then, we just keep enduring one step at a time. If you are reading this, could you maybe take a quick second to just pray for our spirits? For Jeremy and us to find joy, peace, and patience today? To find a determined drive and attitude of "you are sooo not going to win this, Satan!" For me to find these things so that I can be a good mom today, not a crabby irritable one?

Thank you. Your prayer will have power and will bless the people I come into contact with today. Who wants to be around a crank?!

Until next time... press on to win the race, right? (sigh).... At times like these I wish I were a smoker.

Just kidding. (kinda).

Just Because You Love Me.

If you are seeking to give your entire heart, life and soul to the Lord... He WILL provide. He WILL be faithful. I just gotta share.

Normally Jeremy and I experience warfare before things like speaking engagements, retreats, conferences etc. But these past 2 weeks have been interesting and kinda funny. I think I shared earlier that Jeremy took a new job as a grain elevator superintendent in Brandon. He doesn't mind it. Not his heart, of course like sex trafficking is. It was a leap of faith for us. A job in which he had no experience which resulted in nearly a 50% paycut from when he was on his own doing construction.

With this being said, we have learned every trick in the book. We are the best at knowing how to say no and I have become a coupon/bargain freak. And let me tell ya... you think a family of 5 can't live off a single low income? If God calls you too... you can. And you will. And He provides every step of the way.

We have also learned how to listen to His voice and step out of the boat when we need to say yes to things like.... giving above tithes towards other ministries or taking steps toward registering Kasiah for an expensive summer horse clinic because of her love for horses (couldn't she have found a love for something less expensive?!). I'll get back to this cowgirl thing in a moment.

In 2 weeks we have gotten a $200.00 ticket (unknown expired liscense plates), a $125.00 unexpected tax bill, a TV that dies and a $700.00 laptop that was generously lavished with grape juice all over it's motherboard by a cute little toddler named Adalie. Diagnosis? Destroyed.

Now I have found that often when it rains it pours. We all know that. But when it pours with Satan's attacks, it's often before a spiritual event or something of that nature. In our case, we really have nothing special coming up (that we know of.) And typically, when Satan does strike our finances, it's weeks or months before we see the Lord pull through (and He always does). But in our case, the coolest thing happened.

In the same hour the TV died, there were three (yes 3) 36" TV's available to us.... for free.
In the same hour that our laptop was destroyed, there was a new dell available to us..... for free.

The next day. I check my voicemail and I have a message from Angela, the cowgirl camp owner. She had received our application with the deposit and my note saying, "I saw you had financial assistance. please call me!".

She announced on the message, "Your daughter is accepted and consider her tuition... Paid. In. Full."

FULL? Excuse me? All I said was "I want information on financial assistance please."

Yes God. Sometimes you provide before the requests even spill off our lips.
Yes God. Sometimes you provide for things that aren't even needs, like a TV.
Yes God. Often you provide in ways that are immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine.

Yes God, I have found that sometimes you provide... just because you love me.

So with this being said, we continue to press on in faith. Of course we still have the ticket and the taxes to pay and we have no idea week to week how we'll make ends meet. But I just smile saying, "Oh Satan. You might win some battles, but at the resurrection... you lost this war."

God provides. God provides. God provides. Are you getting your feet wet? Step out. Comfort is boring. :)

Ephesians 3:20

(I'm incredibly frustrated because i can't get blogger to recognize my "enter" key. Therefore this entire blog is one huge flipp'n paragraph. For a writer that is incredibly frustrating because the "enter" key is very important. It means "pause in your thought." So with that said, I apologize. Do you best to read and "pause in your thought" when the Spirit leads. :) In college I remember walking down the streets of Orange City, back to campus. My roommate was beside me. Her name was Beth. I had some of the greatest memories of my life with her. She was hilarious in every aspect of the word... yet deep at the same time. It was about 2 years into hers and my relationship with Jeremy and his friends. Beth and I had spent countless hours ministering to them in the dark field of opportunity. We had a conversation that day....but today, the Lord revealed something very fresh and new to me that I had never realized. Back to the streets of Orange City... So we're walking and talking about my dating relationship with Jeremy. She had a heart for him, but was concerned and says, "Danielle, awhile back before you met him you told me that God revealed to you that He would give you immeasurably more than what you could ever ask or imagine. How could this be that?" I paused and thought for a moment about Ephesians 3:20. She was right. With all the baggage of drugs, sex and alcohol (and countless other issues) how was Jeremy immeasurably more than what I could ever ask or imagine? Yet, I was certain he was who God was calling me to. So I replied, "What if it is yet to be revealed?" 12 years later, it was. Jeremy is truly immeasurably more than what I could ever ask or imagine. But it doesn't end there. Today, God spoke to me through my Sunday School teacher named Shon. He said, "We often stop at the first part of that verse, but forget to complete it with the second half." He went on to read Ephesians 3:20, "God can do immeasurably more than what we could ever ask or imagine.......according to the grace that is revealed through us." My heart stopped and it was in that moment that the Lord said to me, "Jeremy has become immeasurably more than what you could ever ask or imagine BECAUSE of the grace that I have revealed to him through.... you." woah. When God calls us to do something, it will cost us. I don't know what God is calling you to do, but whatever it is, it is best. It will cost, but it is best and it will lead to immeasurably more than what we could ever ask or imagine. God clearly called me into this marriage and it has cost me a lot of hardship, pain and suffering. I have found that often when dealing with character, God doesn't work by minutes, days or months. He usually works by years. And sometimes the hardest part is taking the time it takes to become the person God is calling you to be. Jeremy turned 30 a few weeks ago and he celebrated it by getting baptized. This past year (although our circumstances didn't change) has been the best year of my entire life. Why? Because the Lord gave me what he promised 12 years ago, when calling me to marry Jeremy. The Lord did what He promised to do when He spoke Ephesians 3:20 to me after calling me to dump my ex-boyfriend.... By my faith I obeyed, and by His faithfulness I am being lavished with blessings. It is my prayer that you too will step out of the boat. It will cost you. But I promise, it's worth every sacrifice made.

"He can do immeasurably more than what we could ever ask or imagine, according to the grace that has been revealed through us." Ephesians 3:20

And of course I can't post without a few random pictures of the family.....

The lazy river at Okaboji. Literally. Wow. They slept for nearly half an hour.

Bad hair day. Well, this is typical actually. Where's the Tiara?

Not All Who Say "Lord, Lord" Will Enter....

Since I last wrote we have moved to Brandon, SD. The first week was a huge shock, having gone from a 5 bedroom home on an acreage to a 3 bedroom apartment with people living above us and on each side. But after a week of overwhelming busyness with new activities (involving more people than deer), and after ditching all of our furniture but the couch (kids needed more room!)... we are officially settled and loving the change.

What I love most is the friends we have made. Rich and real. I also love the drive to wherever we go, which is now 5 minutes instead of 45. I love to no longer have to pack peanut butter sandwhiches and pajamas for the road. I love that I can put a meal in the oven and know I'll be back in time to eat it.

I love being involved in Mops, the church and Kasiah's new preschool. I love going to the library every week. I love my sisters who are close by, knowing we've got each other's back when needed. I love bringing my kids to Awana every Wednesday, knowing they'll be able to give their cousins a hug. I love being able to take simple cheap dates because DQ is only 5 minutes away. I love that Grandma and Aunt Lisha give my kids free tumblebus classes every week. I love being in Brandon. I love joining my brother and sister-in-laws at the gym at 5:15 in the morning to get our butts kicked with a good workout.

What I hate most is the hard water. I hate washing my hair, feeling more dirty when I get out than when I got in. I hate watching all my dishes be destroyed and having to filter water before filling the coffee pot. But more than that, I hate watching my husband go to work every day, hating what he does, but not wanting it to end. I hate not knowing how God will provide for us when this job is done, knowing we have more bills here than when we left.

But what I hate the most is that for the first time reality is settling in. The reality of eternity. I hate that God is placing my husband and I in places where we are being forced to see a deeper truth than what we have ever grown up with...than what our churches have ever taught us. I hate that now that we know, we are held accoutable to share the truth of hell even if it means we could get punched in the face.

I hate the truth that denominations are dividing the church... when in fact every denomination has a truth to offer for the good of the church (the entire body of Christ). I'm not talking the truth of Jesus Christ - salvation himself. I'm talking outside of that.

I grew up Evangelical Free. Was educated by a Reformed college. Spent 5 years at a Weselyn church and now we are involved in an Assemblies of God church. And with each church, something different is emphasised.

Through my experience.....
The Evangelical Free emphasize Evangelism.
The Reformed emphasizes a deep reverance for the Lord through rich tradition.
Celebrate (I don't want to tie it to a denomination because really they are their own) emphasizes loving people.
The Assembly of God emphasizes the Holy Spirit.

I have learned (currently living and dining among) that every believer can have a 2nd baptism of the Holy Spirit and receive tongues as a personal prayer language. Yes, it's backed biblically and I'm witnessing it myself. But many churches don't address it or read it for what it is, so many Christians are missing out on such an intimate love prayer language with the Lord. It's amazing... and it's sad.

But what I hate the most of everything is what I have learned today through "Driven by Eternity" by John Bevere...

Many "Christians" are not going to heaven. In America I would even dare to say most. You can not just pray the prayer and try to live a good life. If the Lord is TRULY your Lord, you will submit your life 100% under His authority. If He tells you to quit your job, and it doesn't make sense, you will do it. If He tells you to sell your house and it leaves you homeless you will do it. If He tells you to give all of your money away, you will do it. This is TRUE belief that Jesus is Lord.... when you put your belief into action. (If you're looking for scriptural support please respond. I have it, it's just not memorized and with me right now. )

Anyway, today my heart feels sick and sad. There are people in my life who are dear to my heart. I always considered them save. But today I'm not so sure. The truth is, until you understand the reality of hell you can not fully appreciate grace. In the bible Jesus talks more about hell than heaven. He also says in Hebrews 6 that the understanding of Heaven and Hell is an elementary teaching. Elementary? Then why is it that what I have learned today is so new to me after being a Christian since I was 8 years old?

I would go into the horror of what I learned about hell, but don't have the emotional energy right now. All I know is that I have a deeper appreciation for His grace... and I have been compelled and driven with a deep heartache to warn people in my life - especially those who think they are headed to heaven.

What about you? Have you completely surrendered your life to Him? If He told you to do something insanely out of this world, would you do it? Do you have a deep heartache for those who aren't saved?

If you answered no I strongly suggest... no I beg you... to re-evaluate where you truly stand with our Lord.

Impatiently Patient.

What family with 3 children hop from house to house in 7 years of marriage, and from job to job, and town to town not knowing where the heck they are going? What family lives in a house but not in it's community? What family who is completely unemployed turns down a great paying job?

We do.

We have asked ourselves if we brought this mess upon ourselves, while flipping through the earlier chapters of our lives. Some, we have. Most we have not.

If there is one thing we know, it's that God loves us. Even when He is silent. We wait and we trust... in Him, not our checkbooks. We wait for His lead, His direction, His timing. Not ours.

We don't see a target for our lives. Positivily frustrating. But maybe it's not about the Target... but about become like Him.

As much as I want to pull my hair out, not knowing where we are to live or work or become rooted in a community, there is one thing I do know. God is leading. Not us. God is in control. Not us.

And what better place is there to be? So we have hope.

















We cry out to Him but He is silent. And in the silence, we learn discipline. Watching my husband has truly caused me to value this dark season of brokenness. At a time I would have expected Jer to run away, he has discovered discipline. Even in the silence of Jesus, Jeremy continues to get out of bed every morning to pursue Him.

In the waiting, the pause, we have learned that it's not about where we are going, but who we are becoming. So with that said, we value this season of brokenness. The fire is painful. But in everything, positive results can only come when accompanied by pain. So bring on the rain!