I love these women with my whole heart. We are a group of women who range from being pastors kids, to never having cracked open the bible. We are messy. We have bad marriages, rebellious kids and addictions. We have healthy families, stable, solid and strong. We come from all different denominations. All different backgrounds. Even different nationalities and different ages.
We are the church.
This Friday night, at 7:00 in Brandon at the Assembly of God church, I am speaking at a women's event. If you are close by, you're welcomed to come! The girls know have really lifted me up through this time of preparing. They have been the church to me, reaching out in meeting my needs.
I received the most meaninful gift last night. It was an easter back filled with my favorites: Butterfingers, Twin Bings, Mr. Pibb and Coffee Creamer. Not to mention a gift-card for a massage! My sister-in-law had also created a scrapbook of encouragement notes from some of the girls, filled with scripture to encourage me... beginning with the first letter of the alphabet and working it's way down to Z.
As I sat in bed reading, tears filled my eyes. I had no idea how God had really been using me. You hope He is, but you just never know. So many nights I come home feeling inadequate and incapable to do what God has called me to do... feeling like the night was a disaster and some of the girls might not come back. I feel soooo dependent on God every step of the way...
Which is exactly why lives ARE being changed.
As I was reading through the book, everything they wrote touched me. This was written by Stella:
"In one of your blog entries you said something about hoping one day you will be able to 'pay it forward' for all the selfless gifts you and your family have received, I personally believe that with how you are allowing God to work in your life and pouring that out into people is so much more valuable than any material item you could possibly pay someone back with....".
Rewind two weeks ago:
It was laid on Jeremy's heart for us to get away this month and take a quick trip to Vegas to just get away. We have a pastor friend there who could breath some life into us as well. Although we had found super cheap tickets and a super cheap hotel, if you have followed my blog at all, you know that even this is a HUGE chunk for us. Jer was blessed with the opportunity to lay someones hard floor and came back with a good chunk of unexpected cash. And although it covered the trip, we knew it really needed to cover our groceries, diapers and gas the rest of the month. But then an unexpected job of laying trimwork in Nebraska came up! So we felt blessed by God, and purchased the tickets.
Two days later the trim work job fell through. Our hearts sank. Crap. "God?" We prayed. "We're not feeling good about this decision anymore....."
Three days later, out of the blue, a man walked up to Jeremy at church and said, "I heard you're going to Vegas. Here's the hotel on us." It was as if God said, "Yes, I want you to go and I've got your back."
What Stella didn't know, was that in that moment of feeling affirmation from God, we also asked, when is it OUR turn to bless another financially?
Through Stella's words God re-defined what "paying it forward" could look like. I always knew that...but it never hit me like it did last night, that in paying it forward, I already was.
Anyway, if you're reading this, I have a huge night tomorrow night and I would be so grateful for your prayers of protection over me, my marriage and our family. Jer and I have felt very attacked. Which is good, but not fun. It's going to be a powerful night. God has revealed some great stuff to me and the message is completely HIM. I'll be talking about how God and we can develop a strong faith through the storms and battles in our life. I don't want to spoil it, so I'll stop writing....
But stay tuned. I'll be sure to share it in a future blog! :)
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