The Ones Below.

I haven't posted in nearly 2 months. Life has been out of control lately! But I've felt the urge to write something in regards to this past Mothers Day...

Enjoy! :)

Having been married for almost a year,

We took that test and were flooded with fear.

And joy of course, for you were our first.

We couldn't wait to be parents, and our hearts nearly burst!

But around 8 weeks, on Mother's Day,

we lost your life and didn't know what to say.

Although it was painful and tears flooded our hearts,

We still looked to Jesus to give us a fresh start.

The summer passed by, and Fall rolled into town.

Bustling leaves and pumpkins. Kids rushing around.

We take that test again and positive once more!

We can't wait to see what this pregnancy has in store!

But on my brothers birthday, just shy of Halloween,

Around 6-8 weeks you too, would never bee seen.

 

 

We kept pressing forward and I took that test once more.

It's now December, two thousand and four.

On Christmas Eve, I joyfully wrap under the tree,

The positive test for your daddy to see.

He smiles with pride and says, "Third times the charm!"

He shares on Christmas morning and family is alarmed.

Not sure what to say, tension fills the air.

Is this the baby in nine months she'll bare?

But around mom's birthday, in January 2005

We learned that you also were no longer alive.

 

 

"How are you doing?!" People would ask with concern,

I simply replied with one thing I had learned:

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.

May we bless His name no matter the day.

Three babies in heaven, but what is going wrong?

The doctors decided to join in that song.

They sent me to Sioux Falls to have some tests done,

Only to find another little one.

This one was different, I could just tell.

The roast beef cravings and not feeling well!

And sure enough, that crisp Fall night,

I bore my little girl after a long hard fight.

8lbs and 12 oz with lots of black hair,

Kasiah Grace entered our care.

 

 

A bit sooner than expected, only 9 months down the road,

Another positive pregnancy test. Could we handle this load?

Not having any idea in how we could stay strong

we leaned on Jesus all day long.

And on January 26, 2007

God gave us a another piece of heaven.

7lbs with hardly any hair,

Dyson Allen put love in the air.

 

 

We're now feeling stable in more ways than one

With 1 boy and 1 girl, for awhile we'll be done.

But one afternoon, while sitting at my work

A desire for roast beef left me going bazzerk!

Later that night, while sitting next to my daughters bed,

Dyson is sleeping, having just been fed.

I'm rubbing her back and praying to my God,

Please don't let it be. My husband doesn't have a job!

But on Thanksgiving Day, the angels sent kisses,

with Adalie Faith wrapped in Holiday wishes.

 

 

Moving along down the road a quite a few years,

we find ourselves in Brandon after years of tears.

Blessed with three beautiful children as perfect as can be.

We've had our share of struggles as far as we can see.

And now we're at today, where the time clock is ticking.

I'm young but old...you know what I'm thinking...

Ready to be done, tired of the run.

Diapers and sippy cups and sleepless nights of fun.

But can it be pregnancy test #7?

No way... it's got to be a joke from heaven!

Well, what's the point. I'm bleeding. So I put it away.

But something inside says, "Take it anyway."

I listen to the Spirit and then drop to the floor.

"Pregnant" it reads....

But do we want or need more?

 

 

Confused and shocked. Emotions flood my heart.

Vasectomy talk, later pregnant. Where do I start?

But am I miscarrying? God, how do I pray?

"Let this baby live." I quietly say.

Later that night, after the dust settles down,

I share with Jer the unbelievable news found.

He stares at me, not knowing what to say.

So he says a little, until the next day.

"You still bleeding?" He asks.

"Yes," I reply. "We lost the baby."

And he lets out a sigh.

 

 

Feeling both sadness and relief, at the wall we stare,

while coffee's aroma fills the air.

He takes my hand and we begin to pray,

neither of us sure of what we should say.

 

 

I have more babies in heaven, than in my care,

which is fine with me. Seven's more than I could bare.

But someday when I'm up in heaven above,

I hope to embrace the children I could have loved.

Were they boys or girls? Someday I'll know.

But until then....
 My heart is with the ones below.