My Say, My Way.

I promise I'll get to Dyson, I promise.

So we're tucking our children into bed and Kasiah decides to plug in her Christmas tree (which currently serves as their nite-light). Immediately I scolded her, demanding she never play with an electrical outlet. Of course the independent, confident princess argued. I did the "count to three" thing and with King daddy on my side, she obediently and tearfully went to bed.

We said our prayers, gave bear hugs and said good-night while walking out the door. But now this princess didn't like her pajamas. Wonderful. A 2nd "no" for her won't go well. We said she needed to stick to the pajama's she was wearing. This resulted in a time of arguing, convincing and crying. She wasn't going to get her way, so she moved onto the next thing.

"Mamma, will you sit on the stairs and watch me?"

For those of you who don't know this situation - sitting on the stairs until she falls asleep is comparable, well, according to Jeremy to "just one puff" of a cigarette. Although I felt rather insulted that he compared me to a cigarette, I knew he was right.

We had just broken this painful habit of needing mommy by her side every waking moment of bedtime. I needed to be very careful. A 3rd "no" could result in all hell breaking loose for Miss Mamma, King Daddy and Little Buddy (who was trying to sleep just two feet away).

"Kasiah, Mommy's going to take a bath. And when I'm done I'll come check on you." That was enough to keep her content for the time being. But through the entire bath she whimpered and whined like a little puppy. My hopes of her just falling asleep were well, hopeless.

When I finished, I reluctantly kept my promise and went to check on her, not sure what my plan would be. I needed to be careful of that "cigarette puff" you know.

I sat by her bedside and said, "I'll rub your back for a little bit, o.k.?" That one minute of Miss Mamma's soothing touch was enough to make her happy, reassured and secure again. I kissed her good night and walked upstairs. Thank Goodness!

Finding Jeremy I said "I didn't take the puff you idiot, we just smoked a cigar to help get us by."

Ha ha! Before my own bedtime last night, I thought about Kasiah. The pajama's were not about the pajama's. Momma sitting on the stairs was not about mamma sitting on the stairs. What this was truly about was her need to have her way.... her need to have her say, in at least something.

Wow. So comparable to my conversation with God. He says "No" so I move onto the next thing. He says "Yes" but His yes isn't good enough (or I forget that I even prayed for it).

• I pray for an intimate guy friend for Jer. And when He gets one (through a Christmas video in which I prayed for God's outcome on) I have to voice my say by giving advise and sharing my input of course. Why couldn't I just let it be and let God?
• I desire a church who's worship isn't boring and lifeless. God gives me that. Then I complain that it's just too much "performance" for me.
• I pray for a baby. He gives me one. So I complain about having to meet the child's needs.
• I pray for financial freedom. He gives it. I then complain about what I don't have.
• We water and fertilize our grass to make it grow, and then we complain about mowing it.
• We can't stand our boss. And when we get a new one, we complain about that one too.
• We complain about the snow, but in July we complain about the heat.
• We pray for a close and healthy family. He gives it. But then we complain how it doesn't look like someone else's.
• We complain about potholes. He gives construction workers. We then complain about the road construction.

I wonder if God ever says "Can I just kiss you good-night and leave you to sleep in peace while I take care of the details? Do you really have to have your say in everything?"

Here I thought I was this mature Christian. Really, I'm not much older than my 3 year old.


In this movie called "life" someone might see a glimpse of the back of our head for 1/5th of a second....Maybe. That's our life in comparison to the hugeness of God. And yet, we think the movie of life is all about us. Really, the main character is God. We are just an "extra."

http://www.crazylovebook.com/

see video - The Awe Factor of God.